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Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Ladies and their 'Unmentionables'.

Why is it that ladies of a certain generation are very particular about their 'undies'?
My dear Mum-in- Law would never hang hers out to dry on the washing line in the garden, and placed them discretely on a clothes maiden indoors, out of sight, and of course, always referred to them, as her 'unmentionables'.

My own dear Mama, whenever she stayed with us, always insisted on washing her 'unmentionables' by hand and hanging them to dry on the radiator in her room. This used to drive me potty as I washed everything else for her with the family wash and, I hate washing being hung up to dry on radiators. There was just no way her 'unmentionables' were going to be displayed to all and sundry on a washing line!

I had a lovely Auntie May, who, in her later years, had a mild form of dementia, and was sweetly confused.
She happily,resided in a Nursing Home in Southport, where, she was well cared for until, sadly, she passed away.

Her daughter, my cousin 'Joybells', as she is affectionately known, within the Family, collected her one day from the Nursing home,for her to spend some time with her family at their home in Hertfordshire.
Auntie May settled herself in and unpacked her suit case. Joybells, on assisting her asked her where her undies (panties) were. Whereupon, Auntie May looked rather vague and started to giggle, then toddled off to watch television. 'Oh no, thought Joy, the Care Assistant had forgotten to pack them'.

She phoned the Nursing Home and they were adamant that they had been packed, Joy, by then, was getting increasingly frustrated with the situation, so she more or less 'tore a strip off' the Assistant then dashed out to the nearest Marks and Spencers and purchased Auntie May 12 pairs of old ladies 'unmentionables'. She then, dashed back home to put them away and prepare supper. All this was done in a day of a 450 mile round trip to collect her beloved Mama.

After supper, Joy was putting the new 'undies' in a drawer and opened the wardrobe to put Auntie May's coat away and.... Lo and Behold...there... hanging on individual hangers .... all neatly lined up at the end of the wardrobe....Yes, you've guessed... Auntie May's 'unmentionables.

Poor 'Joybells', then had to eat 'humble pie' and telephone the Nursing home to apologise profusely to the 'ear battered' Care Assistant.
Auntie May thought this was all very funny and couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. She then proceeded to hang up her twelve new pairs of 'unmentionables on a further twelve hangers in the wardrobe, snuggled herself up in bed and fell asleep giggling!
Must be a genetic thing in my family, amongst the ladies 'Knickermania' perhaps?

Just off now to wash my unmentionables and hang them discretely on a radiator.

Shaky and Silver Linings.